The Autumn Lectures are nearly upon us, despite the fact that many of us are still on holiday. I have been preparing for the first in the series by reading ‘How we learn to be brave’. The author, Mariann Edgar Budde is the episcopal bishop of Washington.
The chapter that has captured my imagination is the second, entitled Deciding to Stay. It so often seems that we need to be brave in order to go, but the decision to stay can also be brave and consequential, Budde reminds us. She quotes a Presbyterian minister, Frederick Buechner:
‘Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste and smell your way to the hidden part of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments and life itself is grace.’
It struck me that the message here is similar to the call to be with. Being with may involve excitement but often it involves boredom and the pain of disappointment and powerlessness. Many years ago, when I was teaching 6 year olds on a run down council estate, I sometimes wondered if I was getting anywhere. One day a clever but anxious young girl was brought to school by her Dad, instead of her Mum. She didn’t want him to go and he seemed at a loss. ‘Your wife usually takes her to her seat and then she is happy to say goodbye,’ I said. Sure enough the girl settled without fuss and was ready to begin learning. The most useful thing I had done that day was to be there, to have noticed what usually happened and share that with someone else. I know that on that troubled estate where children were so often let down, the value I added to their lives was to be there everyday.
So if you find yourself mourning the passing of summer, spare a moment to be excited by the opportunities ahead.
Wendy Quill
